Because "About Us" felt too normal, and normal isn't really our bag. (Our bags are, however, greasy. That part's on-brand.)
Every legendary brand needs an origin myth. Ours involves a hot griddle, a stubborn cow, and a series of decisions we stand by only when the cameras are rolling.
The fine folks (and one questionable mascot) behind every bun that rolls off our imaginary line.
Believes the secret ingredient is "confidence" and also possibly MSG. Has never once flipped a burger without narrating it like a sports commentator.
In a brine of his own making. Personally vets every pickle for "crunch integrity." Takes relish in his work, quite literally.
Oversees all things dairy and emotional support. Known for being extra when the situation calls for it. It always calls for it.
No longer allowed in the kitchen for reasons that are both obvious and legally sensitive. Still shows up on all the merch, unbothered.
Scientifically calculated by someone who does not have a science degree, using a ruler and pure vibes.
*The award was a participation ribbon from a local fair. We frame it anyway. It brings people joy, or at least confusion.
"Burgz N Bunz, Burgz N Bunz, come on down and meat your buns." We're workshopping it. It's a process.